LET YOURSELF BE SAD
It is ok to be sad, holding on to grief causes more problems than it solves. During this first phase, cry, write, and let it out. I would suggest you don’t try to contact your ex and avoid any social media that they are on. This will keep you in the disbelief phase longer than needed. This time is about you. Nurturing your heart. Many of my clients want their ex back at this stage and are desperate for reassurance. I would suggest no contact as this gives you space to grieve. Whatever the ultimate outcome you still this time to process the stress you have experienced and to love yourself.
STOP THE SAD
Now you have cried your heart out, it is time to start putting your focus and attention on something else. Try and do this in bite size sessions. Start with 5 minutes. Open a book, listen to some music (not sad, breakup songs), I would strongly urge you to start your daily spiritual practice again if you can. If you don’t have a daily spiritual practice, then this is the perfect time to start one. It will support and help you more than anything and it will give you some space in your head if nothing else. If you work, try and focus on work then give yourself 5 minutes in the toilet to let yourself cry, release your feelings every hour if needed.
Try not to overshare during this stage as it makes it harder if you reconnect with your ex, as you may have forgiven and moved on but family, friends and colleagues will remember it long after you have forgotten. I remember telling everyone at a girl’s lunch that I had gone through my fiancés briefcase looking for evidence of the other woman. To this day, I am reminded of this very sad indiscretion on my behalf. Oversharing also keeps you stuck in disbelief and people will always have an opinion and you don’t want to have to deal with feelings of inadequacy and having to explain why it didn’t work or why you have reconciled.
I remember having to tell everyone I wasn’t getting married. Why my engagement ring wasn’t on. It was painful. So, in the end.
I would say “I don’t want to talk about it maybe when I am stronger I can discuss it with you”. Most people are sensitive to this.
DON’T GET ADDICTED TO PSYHIC READINGS OR PREMIUM RATE LINES
I have many clients that have called premium rate lines, repeatedly trying to get the answer they want to hear. An ethical reader or intuitive healer will guide and support you, not exploit you or purport to be the only one with the answers. Trust that you have all the answers and an ethical reader or intuitive will show you the way forward not give you answers that you want to hear (which only keeps you stuck in disbelief). Ethical psychics are like road signs on the motorway they show you the way not drive the car.
GET SOME SLEEP
Repeat this affirmation before you go to sleep.
Dear Our Lady
During my sleep state tonight please surround me in your mother love, nurture me, restore me, help me understand and accept. Allow my mind to settle and guide me to the best outcome for my partner and me. I send him/her my forgiveness and love. Please help me Iove and forgive myself. Thank you for the comfort you are giving me and allow my mind to settle and for my body to rest.
Thank you, thank you
WHAT IS A SPIRITUAL DAILY PRACTICE
Simply it is a spiritual practice you do every single day that connects you with your divine self. It is very personal to everyone, so there is no wrong or right practice. But here is a list of suggestions that you could do as part of your daily spiritual practice.
Meditate for at least 10 minutes a day. why-meditate
Use a daily affirmation to put you in a positive state.
Most powerful tool of personal transformation. Be grateful for everything in your life. Even if you don’t believe you have anything to be grateful for. Say thank you for the ability to breathe and to be simply alive.
One random act of kindness
Do one thing random act of kindness for someone else that does not benefit you.